I am Not So Great!

Dedicated to the woman who has committed her life to making mine BEAUTIFUL.

"What would you like to eat before you leave?", she asked me from the kitchen. "I just ate my oatmeal, I said. "That is right, but you will be on the road for a couple of hours once you leave here and then you will go straight to your meeting and I am sure you won't get anywhere close to food until about 4 PM", she insisted.

I felt like sometimes, my wife's only job was to feed me and my son. We'd be sitting there barely having digested our lunch and she would be wondering what to make for dinner. She's committed alright. So that day was just another day. It was exactly a week ago, on 7 Dec 09 and it was about 1015 AM. I had a meeting with a client in New York city at 2 PM and would be hitting the road soon. And keep in mind, I had my oatmeal that morning a little before 9 AM.

"What do you want? Upma or Maggi?". There was the question again. "Upma is good", I said, just to get her out of my hair. I was working, writing emails furiously, trying to get some things done on a Monday morning. "When do you plan to leave? Aren't you getting late?", she prodded further. "Shouldn't I wait till the upma is done?", was my response. I was trying to be smart, to trap her in her own ruse. She just gave me a wry smile. "Just a couple of emails to be done, by when the upma will also be done. Eat, that, dress up and I will be in my car at 11 AM sharp", I said.

"Upma ready", came the call, but this time it was from closer. I was so engrossed with my couple of emails that I hadn't realised she had brought the upma to me where I was, on my couch, legs stretched out on the center table. I had to respect the upma so that was the end of that email and I promptly dropped the laptop back on the table and picked up my plate. I noticed she had made some for herself too and I decided to spend the next 5 minutes eating and chatting with her, the least I can do for a woman who did so much for me. I have to thank God for little pleasures like working from home, for those 5 minutes were nice. Hot upma, small talk... How many times have I done small talk with her in the last one year (the last 10 for that matter...)?

I didn't have to ask her, but she promptly took my plate and put it over hers when we were both finished and put both of them in the kitchen sink. Washing them to a sparkle was on her agenda sometime that day, coming soon. "You are making coffee, right?". I guess I did ask for this one. The plate that left my lap not even a minute ago had already been replaced by my laptop, so even as I continued my furious emailing, I slightly tilted my head to check her reaction to my ask. I had seen that stare before, several times, but it was accompanied by a smile, so I knew I had gotten away this time. She loved my sheer cheek.

5 emails later the best flavor ever created by God teased my nostrils. I did not even have to look up, for my favorite white cup was placed right next to me on a coaster. "Thank you for the excellent customer service", I said, picking it up right away. "Hey! Can I ask you for just one thing more? I haven't ironed my white shirt yet and I have this important document to send out before I leave...", and my face wore an expression of pleading. "You are really too much", was all she said, as she walked away towards our bedroom this time.

It took me another 10 minutes to relish that coffee to its last sip and I looked down the bottom of the empty cup with despair. The important document was also sent and it was 10:45 AM. I had decided that the emailing had to stop and I spent another couple of minutes shutting down my laptop and shoving it in my bag. I stood up and stretched myself again staring into the sunlight. It was a bright sunny morning and I was feeling really good (for a Monday morning!). I ambled into the bedroom and further into the closet. I slipped on my trousers and my undershirt.

"Here you go", she said, "and is there anything else I can do for you today?". "Oh yeah! Will you slip my coat on from my back once I am all ready?", I said as I put on my well pressed crisp white shirt and just started to knot my new red tie (which she got me for my birthday!). She must have been seething with anger by now and she came right behind me and said, "why don't you let me knot your tie?. That way I can strangle you this instant". "I don't need that service this morning, thank you", I said, picked up my coat, handed it to her and walked out of my bedroom back to the hall.

I picked up my wallet on the way, put on my socks and shoes and then realised I had forgotten my ring and neck chain that I always wear everyday. "Can you?", I said and she slowly walked back to fetch them from their little home. I took them from her, wore them on and looked at the small mirror. "I feel good", I said. "That's good", she said and I realised she was ready with my coat in her hand waiting to help me get into it. She eased it on to my arms and then wiped away the lint from its back. I was all set. She then gave me a warm hug and said, "Good Luck. You will do well today." I gave her a peck on the cheek, thanked her and walked out. It was 11 AM.

For someone who grew up watching Indian films in the 1980s, everything that happened in the last 45 minutes was all too familiar. The lady of the house, waking up early, getting the breakfast on the table, getting the kid ready, seeing him off at the bus station and then attending to the husband's every little need till shw saw him ride away to work in his car. "But then", I thought to myself, as I merged on to interstate highway 295N, "those men in those movies were all great men, business tycoons and the like".

I am not so great! Not yet. I guess, I am just BLESSED!

Exactly one week later, on this Monday morning, at 723 AM, I am sitting at the Philadelphia airport, the victim of a delayed flight. I left home at the ungodly hour of 330 AM and she was still there, gving me the proverbial hug and waiting on the patio, till the airport shuttle pulled away from the parking lot. And today is no ordinary day. It's her Birthday. So as I am sitting here killing time, I decided that the least I could do for her today was write this for her and thank her, for making my every moment so beautiful. For making my Life so BEAUTIFUL.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PONDATTI.

Good Grief!

Q: To begin with, how can grief be good?
A: I don't know but let's not worry about that.

Q: So what should we worry about?
A: Nothing. Don't worry, Be Happy.

Q: Be Happy about what?
A: Happy that this is a kind of first.

Q: Why is it a kind of first?
A; Because I have never done this before.

Q: What have I never done before?
A: I have never written a post within 2 days of publishing my last one, so it's a first.

Q: What was my last post about?
A: What Women Want...

Q: What will people think when they first read that post?
A: They will think it was inspired by wife.

Q: So wasn't it inspired by my wife?
A: Inspired, YES. She is my BIGGEST inspiration.

Q: But was she the reason for Grief?
A: No, not at all, it was just a series of stuff I saw and heard that led to my professional perspective on What Women Want...

Q: So what did I see?
A: For starts, I saw the movie, What Women Want (for the umpteenth time). And if you still haven't seen it, I still recommend it.

Q: And what did I hear?
A: I heard a joke about how women think from a well-known stand up comedian.

Q: And who might he be?
A: I am not mentioning his name. This is not a free advertisement for him.

Q: So it was a "He", wasn't it?
A: Yes, that is kind of obvious from the post itself.

Q: OK, let the last post lie, why is this one called good grief?
A: That is because I have had a lot of grief this week.

Q: And what, may I ask, that was?
A: It began on Monday, with a client, who gave me grief.

Q: Why did he give me grief?
A: Because he kept saying, "Hi so-and-so, How come you haven't given me any grief today".

Q: So that gave me grief?
A: Really, not that, but the fact that we were performing miserably on a project for this client.

Q: Oh come on! Wasn't the client being nice with his sense of humor?
A: He was being nice no doubt, but that did not take away the fact that we were performing miserably.

Q: So what did that mean?
A: That meant a few more sleepless nights for me.

Q: Really? How sleepless?
A: 2 hours of sleep is all I got on Monday night.

Q: Isn't 2 hours plenty?
A: Yes, it's plenty of grief.

Q: Oh, come on! Was it that bad?
A: Yes, given that, I had 2 flights to the same client's location on Tuesday and a 4 hour meeting that afternoon.

Q: So did I sleep right through the meeting?
A: I tried, but it was too hot to sleep.

Q: How hot was it?
A: Despite our temporary miserable performance, the client is giving us more work, that's how hot it was.

Q: So did I go party after the meeting?
A: Yes I did. Dinner on the riverside and then watching basketball and babes in a British bar till midnight.

Q: Quite a party, eh?
A: Yes, but that meant I didn't sleep on time that night either.

Q: 2 nights in a row is not that bad, is it?
A: It's bad if you have 2 more flights to ride on the next day.

Q: And exactly where was I off to?
A: Rochester, New York

Q: Wow, quite a traveller, aren't I?
A: I do what I must do.

Q: And what did I do in Rochester?
A: I spent a sleepless Wednesday night.

Q: And how did that come about?
A: The Phillies beat the Yankees in the first World Series baseball game and then there was this movie on TBS.

Q: Not again! What movie?
A: I am Sam.

Q: Amn't I Lakshmi?
A: I am Lakshmi, but the movie was "I am Sam".

Q: What about Sam?
A: He made stay up until 4 AM.

Q: Wasn't I planning to show up for work Thursday morning?
A: I was, at our corporate headquarters.

Q: So what's the story?
A: I was up at 7 AM and worked until 7 PM.

Q: Then what?
A: That was the best part of the week, I had a south Indian meal.

Q: So didn't that put me to sleep?
A: Not at all. I ended up watching an Indian movie.

Q: How would I watch an Indian movie at a hotel in Rochester?
A: Slumdog Millionaire.

Q: How is that an Indian movie?
A: Made in India, Indian movie.

Q: Didn't it get some Oscar Awards?
A: Yes, and I got another sleepless night.

Q: Didn't I Thank God, the next day was Friday.
A: Yes I did thank god. But for him I wouldn't
have made my meeting at 9 AM.

Q: And how did that go?
A: It went well, but that meant more work.

Q: So is it all work and no play?
A: No. It's all work and no sleep.

Q: Won't you get some sleep on Friday night?
A: Only if I get home on time.

Q: What's up with that?
A: My flight was delayed and I am now sitting on this plane, writing this piece.

Q: When will I stop writing this piece?
A: Looks like I won't stop writing this piece, because, my plane is landing in Philadelphia and the hostess didn't even notice I am still chugging away on my laptop...

Q: Now, will I break the rules and keep my laptop on through the landing?
A: No I won't. If I did that, I probably wouldn't sleep tonight!

Q: So did I shut off the laptop?
A: Yes, but only to open it again when I was on the shuttle back home.

Q: How is it working in the shuttle?
A: Quite a bumpy ride, but at least I will sleep tonight.

Q. How will that be? Won't I be up trying to upload this to the internet?
A. I will, but that will make me feel happy.

Q: Will this be the end of my grief?
A: No. But this is definitely the end of my piece.

Good Night. No grief...


This is an original post published on Oct 30, 2009 by Lakshminarayan Balasubramaniam.

Saturday Mornings!

What is it about Saturday mornings? Does the sun shine brighter? Do the birds sing better? Or do the flowers smell sweeter?

None of the above. Yet, Saturday mornings are different. The cup of coffee invigorates, the rays of the sun energize and the gentle wind in the face soothes. The mind is at perfect equilibrium with those very elements of nature that remain imperceptible every day of the week, Monday to Friday.

I wonder if I simply feel better because I don't need to go to work for 2 days? But then, to say that I love my job would be sham.

Or is it that I am so much into a routine from Monday to Friday that I look forward to something refreshingly different on Saturdays? Negative again, becuase most of the things I do like eat, sleep, watch tv etc. don't change on the weekend. (I just do more of these).

Come to think about the fun I am going to have on the weekend. Whoever said fun is a lot of hard work is absolutely right. Long drives or late night parties, they are all good till they last, but hurt like hell once they are done.

And finally, work itself is no less on the weekends. Clean the carpet, do the laundry, fix the leaky tap, clean up the messy room, buy groceries, wash the car...So when someone tells me its Saturday morning, I feel like saying, "So What?"

So what is it that makes Saturday mornings different?Maybe some professor of psychology will endeavour to conduct a research study on this and I will then get to know the answer.

Just for now, I am happy I have the time to sit and write this, even as the sun shines, the birds chirp and my coffee is calling me to take a sip.

Ah! Saturday mornings...

P.S. This is an original post published on msn.co.in on Saturday, May 17, 2008