Good Grief!

Q: To begin with, how can grief be good?
A: I don't know but let's not worry about that.

Q: So what should we worry about?
A: Nothing. Don't worry, Be Happy.

Q: Be Happy about what?
A: Happy that this is a kind of first.

Q: Why is it a kind of first?
A; Because I have never done this before.

Q: What have I never done before?
A: I have never written a post within 2 days of publishing my last one, so it's a first.

Q: What was my last post about?
A: What Women Want...

Q: What will people think when they first read that post?
A: They will think it was inspired by wife.

Q: So wasn't it inspired by my wife?
A: Inspired, YES. She is my BIGGEST inspiration.

Q: But was she the reason for Grief?
A: No, not at all, it was just a series of stuff I saw and heard that led to my professional perspective on What Women Want...

Q: So what did I see?
A: For starts, I saw the movie, What Women Want (for the umpteenth time). And if you still haven't seen it, I still recommend it.

Q: And what did I hear?
A: I heard a joke about how women think from a well-known stand up comedian.

Q: And who might he be?
A: I am not mentioning his name. This is not a free advertisement for him.

Q: So it was a "He", wasn't it?
A: Yes, that is kind of obvious from the post itself.

Q: OK, let the last post lie, why is this one called good grief?
A: That is because I have had a lot of grief this week.

Q: And what, may I ask, that was?
A: It began on Monday, with a client, who gave me grief.

Q: Why did he give me grief?
A: Because he kept saying, "Hi so-and-so, How come you haven't given me any grief today".

Q: So that gave me grief?
A: Really, not that, but the fact that we were performing miserably on a project for this client.

Q: Oh come on! Wasn't the client being nice with his sense of humor?
A: He was being nice no doubt, but that did not take away the fact that we were performing miserably.

Q: So what did that mean?
A: That meant a few more sleepless nights for me.

Q: Really? How sleepless?
A: 2 hours of sleep is all I got on Monday night.

Q: Isn't 2 hours plenty?
A: Yes, it's plenty of grief.

Q: Oh, come on! Was it that bad?
A: Yes, given that, I had 2 flights to the same client's location on Tuesday and a 4 hour meeting that afternoon.

Q: So did I sleep right through the meeting?
A: I tried, but it was too hot to sleep.

Q: How hot was it?
A: Despite our temporary miserable performance, the client is giving us more work, that's how hot it was.

Q: So did I go party after the meeting?
A: Yes I did. Dinner on the riverside and then watching basketball and babes in a British bar till midnight.

Q: Quite a party, eh?
A: Yes, but that meant I didn't sleep on time that night either.

Q: 2 nights in a row is not that bad, is it?
A: It's bad if you have 2 more flights to ride on the next day.

Q: And exactly where was I off to?
A: Rochester, New York

Q: Wow, quite a traveller, aren't I?
A: I do what I must do.

Q: And what did I do in Rochester?
A: I spent a sleepless Wednesday night.

Q: And how did that come about?
A: The Phillies beat the Yankees in the first World Series baseball game and then there was this movie on TBS.

Q: Not again! What movie?
A: I am Sam.

Q: Amn't I Lakshmi?
A: I am Lakshmi, but the movie was "I am Sam".

Q: What about Sam?
A: He made stay up until 4 AM.

Q: Wasn't I planning to show up for work Thursday morning?
A: I was, at our corporate headquarters.

Q: So what's the story?
A: I was up at 7 AM and worked until 7 PM.

Q: Then what?
A: That was the best part of the week, I had a south Indian meal.

Q: So didn't that put me to sleep?
A: Not at all. I ended up watching an Indian movie.

Q: How would I watch an Indian movie at a hotel in Rochester?
A: Slumdog Millionaire.

Q: How is that an Indian movie?
A: Made in India, Indian movie.

Q: Didn't it get some Oscar Awards?
A: Yes, and I got another sleepless night.

Q: Didn't I Thank God, the next day was Friday.
A: Yes I did thank god. But for him I wouldn't
have made my meeting at 9 AM.

Q: And how did that go?
A: It went well, but that meant more work.

Q: So is it all work and no play?
A: No. It's all work and no sleep.

Q: Won't you get some sleep on Friday night?
A: Only if I get home on time.

Q: What's up with that?
A: My flight was delayed and I am now sitting on this plane, writing this piece.

Q: When will I stop writing this piece?
A: Looks like I won't stop writing this piece, because, my plane is landing in Philadelphia and the hostess didn't even notice I am still chugging away on my laptop...

Q: Now, will I break the rules and keep my laptop on through the landing?
A: No I won't. If I did that, I probably wouldn't sleep tonight!

Q: So did I shut off the laptop?
A: Yes, but only to open it again when I was on the shuttle back home.

Q: How is it working in the shuttle?
A: Quite a bumpy ride, but at least I will sleep tonight.

Q. How will that be? Won't I be up trying to upload this to the internet?
A. I will, but that will make me feel happy.

Q: Will this be the end of my grief?
A: No. But this is definitely the end of my piece.

Good Night. No grief...


This is an original post published on Oct 30, 2009 by Lakshminarayan Balasubramaniam.

What Women Want! A Professional Point of View.

If you have not seen the Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt starrer, I highly recommend it. I liked it (to say "it's good" is presumptuous).

Just to give you an insight into the movie itself, a man who makes his living in the world of advertising (that's another reason I love this film!!!) suddenly starts hearing what women around him are THINKING (not saying, mind you). And then goes on to create an advertising campaign that is a great hit for a women's product and goes on to woo his own boss who he has fallen for and in the process learns a few lessons about life. Super screenplay, funny in parts and the necessary emotion at the end. But this is not a review of What Women Want.

This is another perspective. I think about it. Is an advertising person the right one to crack the code on the single most challenging puzzle that has haunted all men since ADAM? Remember, the hero of the movie was given the ability to hear what women around him were thinking. That does not happen in real life. So who is the right kind of professional worthy of even trying to solve this?

My first guess is a psychologist. If you are a psychologist, you could probably read a woman by her body language, 'hint' language and the "unspoken" language. I am sure that though many psychologists are up to the task by sheer qualification, most have obviously failed because it still remains the single biggest puzzle...

My next best bet is a scientist. These days scientists are able to do a lot of intricate tests. A professor from a very acclaimed institution recently told me about saliva tests. I believe it is possible to gather information about what is going on in a person's head based on the saliva collected from that person at a given point in time. Give me a minute, gentlemen. Given that the most likely way you got her saliva was because she spat at you, isn't it obvious that there is only one emotion involved here? She is ANGRY, my friend? Who needs a scientist to say that? It only helps to be a scientist if you can go one up and say WHY she is angry. I've been looking for some time, but I haven't found one who can. If you do, please send me the number!

I tried doctors and lawyers. They say you must never lie to your doctor or your lawyer. But women women don't lie (give them some credit here). They just don't say what they are thinking, that's all. If you still don't believe what I am saying, go get tickets to a decent stand up comedy show by a MALE COMEDIAN and you're sure to find material that suggests he is also still searching for an answer. Trust me, all men are...

When men in eminent professsions have failed in this quest and when neither fame nor intellect nor steely will has accomplished this onerours task, how am I to fare? I am, but a project manager. Everything I do, I do with checklists. From the time I wake up till the time I go back to bed, I run my life by checklists. So, it looks like all I can do is ask her to give me a checklist of things that I say or do, that can make her angry. And try really hard to remember the one million line items on that list...

And now I'm going to need a software professional to build a software that can hold a million lines on one sheet. Excel can't!