Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now...

Ever heard the song by Starship? It's nothing new but can't say it's nothing great. In fact, it's 10.17 AM on 1 Jan 2010, and I am sitting on my couch listening to this song and writing this. For I have just decided that this song will be my motto for this new year and you, dear reader, can certainly make it yours too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PP1HEFlkdY

You've got the drift and you've seen the song, now you want the story?

It was roughly the same time last night that we hit the New Jersey turnpike. My wife's sister is visiting and so is one of my dearest cousins, so we decided to spend a nice New Year's eve by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeakuel at a nearby theatre. The show began at 730 PM and ended at 9, not as great as the orignial (part 1), but a good "time pass" movie.

As we pulled out of the parking lot a little after 9, I asked the family (in the fully packed car), if they were in a hurry to get back home, or were they up for an aimless drive? No one said no, so before they realized, I was on Route 38, headed west towards the quaint city of Philadelphia. My wife was not very convinced about the idea, I could tell from the look on her face, but I comforted her by saying that we would not get out of the car, but just drive through the streets of center city, which is how the downtown area is called, just to get the New Year feel.

I was hardly 5 mins down that road (south and west, remember) and an idea bulb went off in my head. I turned to my wife who sat next to me and softly said, "should we go in the other direction? I mean, towards the other city?" The look on her face obviously worsened but she still said ok. I wasn't sure she was and I prodded her a little further. "But you will have to fill gas", was all she said and that is all I needed. I missed the first U turn but on the second, I was heading back East and North on Route 38. Exxon on Route 73 South ensured we had a full tank and all this had taken close to an hour. Like I said, we hit the New Jersey turnpike, just about 10 PM.

My son, curious as he always is, was asking me the question, "Appa, do you even know where you are going?". "We are just going for a long ride Kanna", I insisted. He was not convinced either and my cousin and my sister-in-law had to come into play to distract him. Word building was the name of the game. The 2 in the back seat with my son are in the US for the first time and were obviously curiously excited, not knowing where we were going, but waiting to see. The lady of the house, in the front passesger seat, had to slide the backrest further back and close her eyes, in order not to show her dissent. I was moving forward.

We had entered the turnpike at exit 4 and it was raining. There was a thick fog and the prediction was that there could be ice and snow. Every often she would open her eyes and inform me about the weather, like I could not see it for myself. After about 10 miles, when we were getting close to exit 5, she could take it no more and she said, "I think we should turn back and go home". Wise woman that she was, she knew that our home was exactly in between exits 4 and 5 and that was the best chance to keep me from turning that bulb in my head OFF. "Let us just go a little longer and if it gets bad, I will turn back I promise", I said. She knew and I knew, I was not turning back.

The words continued to get built, the music continued to waft in the confused ambience inside the car and I kept the steady pace of 55 to 60 miles per hour on a 65 speed limit road. It was raining after all and all I coud see were the tail lights in front of me. "Appa, I need to use the rest room", came the call and we had to pull up into a service area. I still did not like the look on my wife's face. "Ha! Starbucks", I said. "Chai latte?", I questioned and she nodded, not thoroughly convincing. If there was one thing that could brighten her up, it was that. Alas, Starbucks was closed and we had to settle for Tetley tea and hot chocolate from Roy Rogers.

Quickly back in the car, we rode on. The words continued to flow and the skepticism was still in the air. I did everything I could to make everyone comfortable. Soon we were cruising in the rain, playing, answering phone calls and secretly I was praying (to my lord Sai Baba) that All would be well and that my secret desire would be fulfilled.

The Newark airport at exit 13 A provided for a little distraction. Everyone was searching the air to see if there were any flights landing and then to the runway to see if there were any taking off. With the amount of fog in the air, the chance of anything happening seemed remote and all they saw was the huge tractor, truck kind of vehicle ardently spraying salt on the runways and on the highway. More likelihood of snow! If you are taking the New Jersey turnpike one way or the other, I recommend you watch out to the left while going North and to the right while going South, when you are in the region between exits 13 and 14 (or 14 and 13). The sight of flights taking off and landing at the Newark airport at exit 13 A is simply breathtaking. And it can be quite an experience when you are in a moving car. But the one who is driving has to be focused.

I was chugging along. "So are you going into the city?", she asked. "Why don't we park the car at Seacaucus and take the train?" It was a good idea, no doubt, but it was not part of my plan. One of the greatest things about New York city is when you are entering it by road, just before you hit the Lincoln Tunnel, when you curve right to enter the tunnel, on the left you will see a full size view of midtown Manhattan. What can be awe-inspring in the day is simply out of the world at night, lights et al. So soon, I was past exit 15X for Seacaucus and had taken exit 16E for the Lincoln Tunnel.

The heavy fog had prevented a previously breathtaking view of the city. Just after you pass the Newark airport area, there is a kind of elevation on the road, it's not really a bridge, but more like a mound, and when you climb it and start climbing down, you get the first glimpse of the city's skyline, quite a view it is. The fog simply offered nothing to us today and at that point we had missed that. But now we were close to tunnel and as I took that right curve, I asked the first-timers to pay attention and there it was, that wonderful view of midtown.

"So we are going into the city, aren't we?", my son asked and per a previous conversation we had had, I now owed him $5, because he bet that that is where I was going and I had just brushed him aside by saying we were going for a long drive.

As we were in the tunnel, I felt the need for another pit stop and my son agreed. Though my original intention was to just drive into the city, get on the west end highway, all along the Hudson river and get out of the city through the George Washington Bridge, that was not to be. The Port Authority Bus Station and the car parking on top of it are right outside the tunnel and I pulled up into the parking lot, remember we needed the pit stop. The good part about this parking lot is that it's right on top of the bus station cum subway complex, so it has rest rooms, cafes and the works.

All of us had eased ourselves and it was time to decide what to do next. But that was only for my wife because I knew exactly what I was doing. I gave her a hug, got hold of my child's arm and asked him to wear his gloves. There was only one way we were going. Out. We stepped out on to 8th avenue and it was 1140 PM. The mighty New York times building was right in front of us and as we tried to find its vertical end, we only found ourselves staring into the fog. But that was not the important thing now. Here we were 2 blocks away from Times Square, 20 minutes from midnight, when the legendary ball dropping would take place to announce the New Year.

"Let's just go to that Starbucks, get that chai latte and get back to the car", I sugggested, fully knowing that is not what I meant. So we moved towards 42nd street and realized that at the corner of 42nd and 8th, there was no moving forward. All we could see was a sea of humans. The police had cordoned off the streets and the sidewalks were overflowing. However, we noticed that everyone was looking in the direction of 7th and 43rd and we could see a building with a clock tower with a ball on top of it. "Is that the ball", people were asking. "No, I don't think so", someone else was saying. There was no way we were getting to Starbucks so I suggested that we get back to the car.

"No, let's just wait and see what happens", my wife said and that bulb in my brain started glowing like a thousand watts. No sooner had she said that (it was closer to 1155) and suddenly the floodgates were opened and the police allowed the people from the sidelwalk to step on the street. It was raining and I had my son on my shoulder, so I asked my family not to step out onto the street, but before I had realized, my wife, cathcing hold of her sister's hand, had surged forward and brought herself to a spot, from where we could see the REAL BALL! Did I have an option? My son, my cousin and I were there in less than a minute too.

All we heard was noise. And then it happened. The ball started falling slowly and the fireworks emerged. Streaks of color filled the sky and the glitzy signs in the Times Square area added to the fervor. The noise increased. And the countdown began, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ZERO. And the crowd went wild. HAPPY NEW YEAR! My wife was smiling and my son was loving it. As for my 2 guests who were visiting New York for the first time, you probably have to email them or check them out on Facebook, to see what they felt.

To me, this night was not about watching the ever famous ball dropping at New York's Times Square. It was about stretching my limits. On another day, I would have never undertaken this journey. Rain, fog and expectation of ice and snow were a perfect recipe to stay home, watch a movie and go to bed. And I would have been thoroughly satisfied with that. Last night, there was a desire, to ask for more from life and stretch myself a little harder to get it. Honestly, all I wanted was to show my guests, my dear sister-in-law and my dear cousin, the 2 breathtaking views of New York city that I have never ceased to be amazed with how many ever times I have seen them. I just wanted to make them feel excited about this New Year eve. When my wife wanted to turn back at exit 5, I decided I was sticking to the course and I guess I hit the jackpot.

And hence the theme and title of this story. Last night made me believe, that nothing is going to stop me this year and I am going to stretch myself to get what I want in life. And I wanted to share this with one and all, family and friends, just to let you know, Nothing's going to stop you now.

WISHING YOU, DEAR READER, A LIMITLESS NEW YEAR. GO GET WHAT YOU WANT.

Our wonderful journey ended at 245 AM, only after my wife got an extra hot cup of Chai latte from Casa Java and we witnessed a medium size aircraft touchdown at the Newark airport, literally metres away from eyesight...

Independence Day

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I feel like writing today. Not that there is anything to write about. Not even that I am top of the world yet. I am trying to think why I want to write or what I feel. Only a strange kind of coincidence occurs to the mind. Today is India's Independence Day and today I feel a strange kind of independence myself.

Independence from some of the ghosts that have chased me for a very long time in life. I was telling my wife a couple of days back how her recent trip to India (being away for six weeks) was an awakening time for me. For one, this time I made better of my fear for staying alone. I still slept with the lights on in the pathway from the living room to the bedroom alright, but that's why I said I made better of my FEAR and not got away with my fear.

It's not just the physical FEAR of being alone. I can see how the FEAR of things unknown is fading out. Not to say I was not alarmed by the huge guy on the Broadway sidewalk last night who was walking ahead of me and suddenly turned around and said something. I am not even sure if he was talking to me, but all I know was I was walking faster towards the doors of my hotel which were less than a few paces away. That safety was at hand's reach was comforting.

It was not the case though on the other night in the same New York neighbourhood exactly 3 weeks ago. That was another Friday night, when I spent one hour, from midnight to 1 AM on the bench in the middle of Broadway at 94th, alongside a couple of homeless people. Not long ago, not even the day before that one, I would not have crossed the road to go to the other side if those same people were sitting there on that bench. I would have gone down the sidewalk on my side, a few blocks further even, to get to the famous tea and muchkins I so savor from Dunkin Donuts. That's another story...

I am just returning home after taking a second term exam and I am trying to think if I had FEAR of exams before. No. It was just a hatred for exams. I just did not want to take them, but I sure had the FEAR of failure. That was the killer, not only in my academic history, but on several counts in life. There was a time in my life when FEAR of failure did not let me seek what I wanted, did not let me ask for what I sought. That FEAR has gone too, I feel. Contrary to that FEAR, I feel it is the lack of that FEAR that is my bane now. I am not even afraid of making mistakes now. Actually, that is my only FEAR!

Not even snakes. No more can they frighten me. I like to believe there is an element of God there. I think the depiction of snakes in association with some of my favorite Hindu Gods has actually helped me get over the fear of snakes. The King Cobra still frequents my vision, most often when I get in the shower and close my eyes to let the wound up tensions in my body go. But I am not afraid of him. I respect him for what he is (he is a King after all). And if I met him for real, I wouldn't FEAR either staying still in common sense or bowing down to him in my religious sense. Either way, I don't think I will fight him, but I will let him decide what he wants to do. I am not afraid of what will happen right after...

I look up and think back 2 days. I was 30 minutes away from being on the bus to New York, the day before my exams. That is when I realized my wallet was sitting snug in his rightful place at home. He likes his place and I am sure he was extremely comfortable on a warm summer afternoon. Only it wasn't helping me or my uncontrollable wife. The drama that unfolded in the next hour or so was unnerving that I needed to take a nap all the way to New York, a 100 minute bus ride. But yes, I was on that bus to New York, sans my dear wallet.

How I have missed him in the last 2 days. Every often my hand would reach out to my back pocket (yet another of his comfortable resting places), only to remember that I had left him back home in Mt Laurel. So how did I manage to get to New York, spend 2 nights at a hotel, eat, ride the subway and even stop on the walkway at the Port Authority bus terminal to hand out a dollar to the old woman I see every time I pass that way? That is not another story, but the details are inconseqential. The essence my dear, is the absence of FEAR.

I am looking out into the sunlight gleaming off the stream of cars on the New Jersey Turnpike. They are not moving at the average 60 miles per hour. Now that causes some FEAR. I remember the last exam day of the first term (this one is the second). I was going home after the exam to get dressed up for a GALA that night and return to my favorite city, but a trailer truck on the NJTP that crashed into 7 or 8 other cars caused me to sit in a hot Greyhound Bus for 3 or 4 hours. But it is a FEAR that I will get over with patience. I have had plenty of that and may be it is just going to test me again.

It is strange how this FEAR now seems to be shifting from one place to another. I don't mind if I have to sit in this bus for a few hours but my FEAR is that my laptop's battery will drain in a finite amount of time and I will neither be able to continue writing, nor be able to listen to music (the battery on my MP3 player drained out last night!). And this is the NJTP. Not NH4 in India, where, if the traffic backs up a long way, soon there will be vendors of all kinds selling their wares from peanuts to hand held fans to the anxious travellers, who will also happily lap up items of interest. Yet again, my FEAR is, I have but 2 dollars left on my person. Dear Wallet, I have never missed you so much in my life. It's all of an hour that separates us and the traffic on the turnpike is threatening to make it a couple or more.

Luckily, we're moving (not stopped), even as I move from one FEAR to another. And right now, we are actually moving fast enough for me to move out of this FEAR on to the next one. Ah! There it is. My stomach growls. I realize I have not eaten lunch and if I don't get to my wallet on time and get some cash, I can't get close to food I need and that usually causes me a migraine. I wouldn't FEAR it so much if I could just go home and sleep it off. Right now, I can't. My car will be waiting for me at the Greyhound station in Mt Laurel and I will need to drive her to the beautiful city of Philadelphia where my wife and son and the one who I treat like my other son are waiting for me to go out and have a good time.

How I would like to go to Dunkin Donuts and sink my teeth into a egg-white flat bread sandwich right now. Now wait. Then there is the FEAR of cholesterol. It is like some kind of satan who is lurking around me and threatening me from having a good life and eating all my favorite food. How I restricted myself to only one aloo tikki yesterday at the Indian buffet lunch is a wonder I can't explain but I am certain that devil cholesterol has something to with it.

The battery sign on my laptop just dropped some blue and gained white. 31 minutes left, it says. Given that I am listening to music also through the laptop, I don't think the 31 will be a true 31, it may be even 13 and there is no running from that. Right now, it seems like crawling would even be better, because we have actually stopped. I look out the window to see if I can spot the peanut vendors. I can use some now. I can actually use a full Indian buffet right now. The choice really is between death by cholesterol and death by hunger. I'd like to push death out a little so it gives me a chance to fight back the cholesterol.

We are crawling. That is good. And I still have 26 mins before I lose sound and sight. I am desperately hoping I can catch a glimpse of the green sign that tells me what exit is next on the turnpike (before I lose my senses). But all I can see is the back of a huge bus that is drudging along right ahead of us. That the average seat area occuppied by the co-passengers on my left and right is one and a half is not helping either. Ah! I spot an exit. Alas! It is only a service area. And one that a Greyhound bus will not pull into. One that I will not know what to do in even if this bus pulls up into, thanks to penury.

I adjust my body a little into the half seat I have got. My right leg is sore from hanging out of the seat for the last hour and a half, but you know what, I am just being mean. The gentleman next to me probably did not do anything himself to be so large. In fact, he has been extremely decent (he was the only one who offered me the space next to him to hang from!).

We're actually moving. I don't know if it is a mirage and I certainly hope it isn't. The lanes on the turnpike have just merged (I mean the ones for trucks, buses and cars and the one for cars only), so my guess is it is at least another 30 miles to exit 4 and that's 30 minutes at a reasonable average of 60 miles per hour. I've been doing too much of math and stats lately and I can tell. 13 minutes to go on my laptop. I FEAR that I will lose all I wrote so I hit Alt F and S. Again!

The shuffle function on my MP3 player gave me a song I don't savor too much, so I chose another one. A true favorite. Rasave Unnai Nambi from Mudhal Mariyadhai. Orange light blinking, a sign of danger. Hopefully, this song will see itself through and I will go out in style. Right now, I FEAR I may not even get halfway through it. I am counting every second. At least the bus is moving at a fair clip, so my wait time right after I shut down won't be much. Well, how bad can it be. A few hours?

My laptop is threatening to hibernate and I gotta go. It's been a long bus ride and my laptop has stayed alive all the while giving me the pleasure of writing this and the music, so I can't complain. But just as I take my mind away from this for a moment, I realise how sweaty and stinky I am. And I am going to Penn's Landing for the Indian Independence Day celebrations, where there are supposed to be thousands of Indians today (and some beautiful women too!). Am I going to look good? Just my next FEAR...